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sunkisserI haven’t written anything in around 1 year and 5 months…. it’s really been a mix of lack of time and (somewhat) lack of motivation. although last time I wrote fic I kept it all to myself and had tons of fun just doing whatever the fuck I wanted, somehow not even that was enough to compel me to keep the habit even when life got busy and writing was no longer something I could do for an hour or two every night and Still have time to wind down after
though recently I went to a writing workshop that helped a lot! of course there was the usual “writing isn’t about inspiration but rather practice and habit” spiel (which I agree with even if I don’t really practice T__T) but the prof (which will hopefully be one of my scriptwriting profs next sem!) also gave us a lot of tools to simplify plots and make it easier for us to just start. which is always the hardest part for me.
there was a time of my life when I over-planned and another were I under-planned my fics and each gave way to interesting and very different plots and ideas, but what she taught us was basically the best of both worlds: outlining the most important turning points of each fic and then letting the story develop until you connect each one. it sounds more complicated than what she actually taught us in the workshop. but it was inspiring! I haven’t actually written anything since I was there a week ago but I’ve certainly been cooking something up that I can (hopefully) act upon during the weekend. and if all goes well we should have some fresh fic to start the week! no fear of the blank paper involved (if I can help it)
I also found some of my old writing and while it's not the best thing ever or the direction I'd take with my writing now, it's still kinda good and postable. and the thing is I'd LIKE to post it, but I feel like, tonally, it wouldn't match anything else I would like to post in the future and I don't know how to feel about that. I think that not everything I write has to have a "theme" or needs to be similar in terms of style or message but it somehow feels like two different people wrote the fics from a year ago and what I would write now? which is once again not really untrue lmao
but I think it would be weird to have two things that feel so drastically different to my name? then again I might be putting too much weight on how I think people might perceive me and my writing... if I wanna post maybe I should just do it for me and not stop to think what others might feel or think but that's still pretty hard even though I’ve been working on it for well over a year.. it feels almost impossible actually because if I am one thing it's an overthinker and self-conscious… and it even reflects on how I think about myself like I really Will hold myself back if I feel like a work doesn’t 100% reflect where I stand at the moment in my writing journey and Will feel incredibly embarrassed about everything I’ve written prior to that.
maybe posting some of my old stuff will be like an exercise in taking that weight off my shoulders and learning to do whatever I want and take pride in my journey? and that people might also enjoy what I consider old and cringey writing? maybe last year writing and keeping it to myself was my exercise in learning to write for me and what makes me happy and this leg of the journey is about showing off what I want to about my writing despite what others (and I, myself) might think. much to think about in that sense ! I definitely want to try to write smth for zb1 before the end of the year. if I manage to post it all for the better! but it's not the priority..
I think that kind of distancing myself from ncity when 99.9% of my wips are nct-related might’ve come to play a little in what became of my writing habits.. I am still a ride or die for my neos but I haven’t been consuming their content like before for multiple reasons (might make a whole other post for that.. just to get my thoughts in order) but I’m hoping that writing for another group/fandom that I am way less actively involved in might do the trick bring me the rush of serotonin to write more again!
I also do get insanely overwhelmed with the amount of things and hobbies I want to get into every time I’m on break which usually leads me to doing next to nothing so I’m not really putting many expectations on this whole writing again thing but I would like to at least exercise those writing muscles a little before school starts up again, not only for my own catharsis and enjoyment and hopefully to help the awful funk I’ve been in this entire break period but also to ramp up my creativity a little because the amount of writing I’m gonna be doing next semester… insane doesn’t even begin to cut it…
though recently I went to a writing workshop that helped a lot! of course there was the usual “writing isn’t about inspiration but rather practice and habit” spiel (which I agree with even if I don’t really practice T__T) but the prof (which will hopefully be one of my scriptwriting profs next sem!) also gave us a lot of tools to simplify plots and make it easier for us to just start. which is always the hardest part for me.
there was a time of my life when I over-planned and another were I under-planned my fics and each gave way to interesting and very different plots and ideas, but what she taught us was basically the best of both worlds: outlining the most important turning points of each fic and then letting the story develop until you connect each one. it sounds more complicated than what she actually taught us in the workshop. but it was inspiring! I haven’t actually written anything since I was there a week ago but I’ve certainly been cooking something up that I can (hopefully) act upon during the weekend. and if all goes well we should have some fresh fic to start the week! no fear of the blank paper involved (if I can help it)
I also found some of my old writing and while it's not the best thing ever or the direction I'd take with my writing now, it's still kinda good and postable. and the thing is I'd LIKE to post it, but I feel like, tonally, it wouldn't match anything else I would like to post in the future and I don't know how to feel about that. I think that not everything I write has to have a "theme" or needs to be similar in terms of style or message but it somehow feels like two different people wrote the fics from a year ago and what I would write now? which is once again not really untrue lmao
but I think it would be weird to have two things that feel so drastically different to my name? then again I might be putting too much weight on how I think people might perceive me and my writing... if I wanna post maybe I should just do it for me and not stop to think what others might feel or think but that's still pretty hard even though I’ve been working on it for well over a year.. it feels almost impossible actually because if I am one thing it's an overthinker and self-conscious… and it even reflects on how I think about myself like I really Will hold myself back if I feel like a work doesn’t 100% reflect where I stand at the moment in my writing journey and Will feel incredibly embarrassed about everything I’ve written prior to that.
maybe posting some of my old stuff will be like an exercise in taking that weight off my shoulders and learning to do whatever I want and take pride in my journey? and that people might also enjoy what I consider old and cringey writing? maybe last year writing and keeping it to myself was my exercise in learning to write for me and what makes me happy and this leg of the journey is about showing off what I want to about my writing despite what others (and I, myself) might think. much to think about in that sense ! I definitely want to try to write smth for zb1 before the end of the year. if I manage to post it all for the better! but it's not the priority..
I think that kind of distancing myself from ncity when 99.9% of my wips are nct-related might’ve come to play a little in what became of my writing habits.. I am still a ride or die for my neos but I haven’t been consuming their content like before for multiple reasons (might make a whole other post for that.. just to get my thoughts in order) but I’m hoping that writing for another group/fandom that I am way less actively involved in might do the trick bring me the rush of serotonin to write more again!
I also do get insanely overwhelmed with the amount of things and hobbies I want to get into every time I’m on break which usually leads me to doing next to nothing so I’m not really putting many expectations on this whole writing again thing but I would like to at least exercise those writing muscles a little before school starts up again, not only for my own catharsis and enjoyment and hopefully to help the awful funk I’ve been in this entire break period but also to ramp up my creativity a little because the amount of writing I’m gonna be doing next semester… insane doesn’t even begin to cut it…
